EP 94: Celebrating Yourself and Pursuing Your Dreams: A Guided Meditation with Judy Tsuei
Judy Tsuei, the founder of Wild Hearted Words, shares a story that’s a testament to the power of intentional decision-making and commitment to one's dreams.
She left her job at a health tech company to pursue her passion for coaching, which required her to reexamine the stories she had been telling herself and find out whether they were true.
Judy's journey was not easy, but she emphasizes the importance of building a solid foundation and committing to one's dreams. She acknowledges the sacrifices she has made to get to where she is and encourages listeners to celebrate their accomplishments and honor themselves.
Judy's message is one of self-care, self-reflection, and taking action towards one's dreams. She provides a calming and supportive presence for listeners to connect with. If you're feeling stuck in your job or unsure about your next steps in life, Judy's story might just be the inspiration you need to take that bold step towards your dreams!
Episode Highlights
01:07 Judy talks about the unusual weather in California and the lack of sunshine since February 15th.
02:14 Judy talks about building a successful business and becoming the primary financial provider for her daughter.
06:04 Judy talks about committing to her dreams and taking a leap of faith to pursue her business full-time.
09:26 Judy discusses the importance of reexamining the stories she tells herself and how it led to her decision to leave her job.
11:15 Judy talks about her decision to take a master level course in neuro linguistic programming and the three things she had to consider before committing to it.
17:39 Judy encourages listeners to take a moment to revel and celebrate the present moment and the smaller moments of everyday life.
18:37 Judy talks about sacrificing and building a solid foundation for her dreams and encourages listeners to do the same.
19:39 Judy guides listeners through a breathing exercise to slow down and engage the parasympathetic nervous system.
23:02 Judy encourages listeners to commit to their dreams, align their mind and body, and take bold actions towards their goals.
Links Mentioned:
Website: wildheartedwords.com/shop
NLP Training (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) — Use code JUDYNLP to get 50% off in-person Live Practitioner Trainings (in any city)
Meditation Practice: https://wildheartedwords.com/money
Transcript:
Speaker 1 (00:00:02) - Welcome to the Saving Face podcast, where we're empowering mental and emotional health for Asian Americans and voices of color by breaking through taboo topics. Life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Make your story beautiful today. In case you're new to this show, my name is Judy Tsuei and I'm the founder of Wild Hearted Words. We are a strategic branding and content marketing agency, and we focus on working with female entrepreneurs of color to create sustainable six figure success. If you'd like to experience what it's like to work with me, you can sign up for my latest masterclass that's available on my website at Wild Hearted Words. Com forward slash shop. It's called Overcoming Challenges and Traumas Through Mindset Shifts and Manifestation. And when you sign up for the audio course, that's about an hour, you'll also get a bonus PDF filled with incredible affirmations that you can practice every day to welcome in the life you'd like to have. For a limited time, the course is now only $19. Again, go to Wild Heart Awards.
Speaker 1 (00:01:07) - Com forward slash shop. Now on to the episode. Okay. I have big news to share in my professional life. But before we get into that, I also want to take a moment to celebrate the fact that the sun is finally coming out here in San Diego. So if you are also one of the Californians who have not experienced much sun lately and have been in this dreary gray for a very long time, then welcome back to the sunshine. I came across this New York Times article that said that in addition to June gloom, there's Mae Gray, but there's a term that I'd never heard before, which is no Sky July. And I think it's probably because usually we don't experience that. But along the California coast, this year has been unusually cool and cloudy with this thick layer of low clouds and fog. And in San Diego, a city synonymous with sunshine, there hasn't been one completely sunny day since February 15th. So the outlook for July through September is the opposite. Above normal temperatures are expected throughout the state, hopefully by the end of June and early July, you'll be seeing a lot more sun across southern California.
Speaker 1 (00:02:14) - And I hope to be able to take advantage of that and go out surfing, because the big news that I want to share is that if you've been following along for some time, you'll know that I've been able to build a multiple six figure business with my company, Wild Hearted Words, a strategic branding and content marketing agency. We work with all sorts of different global brands and solopreneurs and startups to really define your brand in the online space and help you drive conversions through powerful content that really performs. So that's what we've been doing. But in addition to that, as a divorced mother, I have been the primary, if not sole financial provider for my daughter for a lot of different things. And so because of that, I felt the sense of responsibility. So before it was so much easier to pursue my passions when it was just me, if I wanted to move around the country, if I wanted to move around the globe. Super easy to do because the one person I had to be responsible for was myself.
Speaker 1 (00:03:09) - And since I graduated from college, I've always been really lucky in finding remarkable employment opportunities and really knowing how to network and build community and aligning myself with a sense of energetic alignment to manifest and create the life that I want to have. So I've been able to do everything from living in my dream of all dream places. Kauai in Hawaii, which is where my daughter was born, to creating this business here in sunny, sunny San Diego, California, where I am walking distance to the ocean. My friends and I just went to the Pro-Am this weekend at Moonlight Beach. We biked over there and, you know, beach cruiser over there. And it was such a wonderful opportunity to remind myself of how far I've come since first coming back into the country five years ago to get divorced, to really re-establish myself and my daughter. And so here we are now. One of my clients a couple of years ago asked if I would come on as a full time employee. And I've done that one other time before and it didn't really work out very well.
Speaker 1 (00:04:14) - But similarly, back then we had a lot of debt to pay off in our marriage and I was the primary, if not sole breadwinner again at that time. So I took that job. I left that job because I had severe postpartum depression. We moved to the other side of the world to Taiwan. I wanted my daughter to be able to learn Mandarin. And then when we moved back, there was just a lot of rebuilding. I had to rebuild financially, mentally, emotionally and physically as well. It had gotten to a point where I didn't want anybody to hug me because I was afraid that if they did and they squeezed a little too tight, it would totally tweek out my neck or my back. I had become very frail and very weak. I had lost a lot of weight. So here I was, rebuilding from scratch. When I signed the lease to my apartment, I did not know how I was going to come up with the money for rent. I did not have a job yet.
Speaker 1 (00:05:03) - Thankfully, the landlord at the time really fell in love with my daughter. When we went to go see it. It was the first and only place that I saw and they didn't do a credit check or anything like that because had they done that at the time, my credit probably would have been terrible. So it's wonderful. Now it's like at 800. I've been able to do that in a few years. So I took this W-2 job because in our mediation agreement it said that I am the one responsible for providing health care for our daughter. And just as a responsible parent, I wanted to have that sense of stability and security to have this baseline income that would enable me to continue to grow whatever else it is that I wanted to do. So fast forward the last year and a half or two, I've been able to build a multiple six figure business as a side hustle, and that's thanks to great mentorship. It's thanks to an amazing team of writers and designers who I've been able to build as contractors who work with me.
Speaker 1 (00:06:04) - And it's also been due to having phenomenal word of mouth clients and so right after. I told the creative director of my current W2 job that I would not be, you know, continuing employment with them. One of my freelance clients immediately offered me a six figure position in conversation. And so I'm very, very blessed and very grateful for that. And I feel like it was the universe kind of testing me and saying, okay, well, you know, you want to commit to your business, you want to commit to having full confidence in building what you want to build. Here are still things that would feel safer, more secure. Do you want to take these or do you really want to follow and commit to the dream that you wanted to create? So I will back up a little bit before we dive into the meditation practice today, because today's practice will be focused on taking a moment to revel and celebrate and honor yourself for how far you've come. It's also taking a moment to build the strength and the courage to pursue what it is that you want to pursue and commit to those dreams, even if other people don't understand, even if it's scary, or as my daughter said, and I love this term that she came up with narrated, which is a combination of nervous and excited.
Speaker 1 (00:07:21) - So basically what happened is at my W2 job, the creative director and I have a weekly touch base and he said, okay, well, I have to talk to you about something serious. We want to talk about your performance. You know, there's some things falling through the cracks. Do you want to come into the office more? ET cetera. ET cetera. And I just took a deep breath. And it's something that I've been working with my therapist on for the last six months of really deliberating and being intentional with the next step that I want to cultivate. Because the last time that I quit that other job that I said that I took, you know, that didn't really pan out the way that I had wanted. When I quit that job, my postpartum depression was very, very severe. And when I went home and I told my husband at the time that I had quit, his response was not supportive. And it was one of surprise and disappointment and shock and how are we going to support our family? That was really irresponsible.
Speaker 1 (00:08:15) - ET cetera. ET cetera. So it's something that I've had to process with my therapist of making sure that I'm not making impetuous and impulsive decisions, which has been part of my temperament and personality, most likely because I was raised by authoritarian Tiger parents. And a lot of what I did was in rebellion to what they had taught me. But it's required a lot of reframing for me to understand that even back then I was doing something for a survival reason. It wasn't malicious, and there was a fully functional other adult in the relationship who could have picked up the slack and could have gone out and, you know, earned just as much as I was earning. And in fact, this person is a white male. So with a lot fewer of the hurdles that I've had to overcome from a societal and a cultural standpoint, and I'm not saying this is the case for everyone, but I'm saying that in my lived experience, I've found that people who are part of the dominant majority of culture have factors both invisible and visible, that are moving forward in support of them to make certain paths easier.
Speaker 1 (00:09:26) - So, you know, it's required a lot of reexamination of the stories that I had been telling myself and to find out whether or not those things were true, because in fact, they were not that even back then. I did not make a mistake. And I'm not making a mistake now. So as the creative director brought this up with me, I took a deep breath and I just said, You know what? I am in 100% agreement with what it is that you're saying. There's nothing that you're saying that I'm not aware of or don't agree with. However, I think perhaps it's time that we discuss going our separate ways. Because when I first took this position, we acknowledged that this position was junior to my experience level, but that, you know, and you also knew what else I was doing outside of the company. And as long as I got the work done, it was totally okay. Then I vied for a bigger position while it was promised to me or that a path was being laid out that never came to fruition.
Speaker 1 (00:10:21) - And so for both intrinsic and extrinsic reasons, I think it's best if I move on and that the company and the team who I very much respect and enjoy, would be better served by someone who is perhaps more green and more excited to do the work as well as it would be a disservice for me if I did not go out and pursue what I feel I'm being called to do, what I meant to do, what my zone of genius is, where it will be more lucrative for myself and for my daughter. And I was very transparent that a lot of the reason that I had stayed and that I was so grateful for was because I am the you know, for all intents and purposes, the sole provider for my daughter, especially when she's with me. So I wanted to do right by her, but I also want to do right by the company and I want to do right by me and the hopeful legacy that I leave behind in this world. With the work that I do. And so we had a very open and honest conversation about it.
Speaker 1 (00:11:15) - I, you know, the creative director went on and talked to the HR and the VP. I went on and talked to HR as well, and we decided that my final date at the company would be July 7th. So this is significant because when I went to go to my introductory level, neuro linguistic programming and NLP training in LA, that at the time they were offering a master practitioner course, which would be two weeks here in San Diego. And the four days that I did in Los Angeles was transformational, both for what I was learning, but also for the impact, the beneficial impact that it had on me to view my parents differently. The ways that they showed up to watch my daughter for four full days from 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. every day and just be with her, take her on different excursions. Even with my mom having arthritis and not being able to drive anymore, it was just I was so grateful. And so because of that and a healing moment within the training itself, I really came to view them differently.
Speaker 1 (00:12:20) - It's also thanks to a lot of the grief work that I've done with my therapist who's amazing. And so when they offer the master level course, I knew I wanted to do it because I know this is what I want to move into in my business, regardless of whether or not I like the word coaching, that is what I do. It is what I do with the clients who I work with. It is what I do with so many of the relationships that I have in my life. And I want to continue to do this because I am born to be a teacher. I am born to be a guide, and I'm born to take the challenges that I've experienced, articulate them in ways that there is wisdom and there are lessons that other people can benefit from in their own lives. To be able to give words to the things that people are also experiencing, but may not have the ability to figure out how to say. And it's so vital to name things, to call them out so that you can begin to process them and move through them.
Speaker 1 (00:13:14) - And so the three things that were essential for me to be able to do this master level course is one child care. So because I'm a divorced parent, there are very few opportunities that I want to give up. Any time that I have with my daughter, I already only get her 50% of the time and maybe a little bit more depending on the different trips or whatever that we take throughout the year. But this is essential to me. And so any time that I'm being asked to take time away from time I would spend with her on the weeks that I have her to go do something else, it better be really, really important. So the first thing that I had to do was check the dates. Well, it turns out that those dates are the dates that my ex-husband would be taking my daughter out on summer vacation. Okay, so that was taken care of. I feel good about that. The second thing is the cost. So it's an eight something thousand dollars training if you paid full price because I had done the introductory level, the cost was less.
Speaker 1 (00:14:08) - And as I was thinking about whether or not to make this commitment, this financial energetic and time commitment, because I've done that with so many different things. I've invested, you know, 50 to $100,000 in things that did not pan out because I thought I wasn't good enough and I needed more. I wanted to make sure I wasn't making that same mistake. But this felt like a true calling. And I checked in with a couple of people, including my current partner, who had asked, you know, please make sure that you help me vet these opportunities so that I'm not wasting time and money. And so I remembered that because I've been selected as a 2023 Tory Burch Foundation fellow, that there's a stipend associated with the year long program and the stipend is a $5,000 stipend. So I emailed while I was at the training and asked the program director if I could apply that money to this training, and she said yes. So that was the second thing that was taken care of. If you'd like a free meditation practice to help you manifest the life of your dreams, go to wild hearted words.
Speaker 1 (00:15:12) - Com forward slash money. There you'll find a free five minute guided audio practice that you can download and use at any time to fit your own schedule. It's filled with beautiful affirmations, ways to keep you focused on your intention and a lovely practice that you can use regularly to keep your energy aligned to the life that you'd like to create. That's wild hearted words. Com forward slash money. The third thing were the dates. And so it would be a two week all day training. And I had already run out of PTO at my W2 opportunity. So every day I had been manifesting I will leave this company by July 20th, 23 or sooner, and the income is already replaced by new clients, new opportunities. You know that I wouldn't have to worry. And so when this conversation came about, I was open. I said, I'm not closing the door, but here is what I'm envisioning moving towards. And I want to be supportive. And I know that different team members are going on vacation, so I want to be here to support.
Speaker 1 (00:16:23) - And so the date that they came back to me with is July 7th, which is the day before I would start the master training. So all three things aligned for me to step into this next chapter of my life, and that is commitment. That is putting it out there, not knowing the how and getting clearer and clearer on what it is that I want to achieve by doing, by being mindful, by going within, by doing breathwork, by doing meditation, and then moving forward in life in the best ways that I know how the information that I have in front of me. So that is what today's mindfulness practice is going to be about. It's going to be about what my therapist often encourages me to do, which is to revel and to celebrate. Because, you know, even as other very successful entrepreneurs would say, it's not about the dollars in your bank account, it is about how content you are in life, how happy and healthy that you feel, how how you can enjoy the smaller moments of every day, because that is what our entire lives are made out of are these moments, this present moment right here, right now.
Speaker 1 (00:17:39) - And you probably heard that saying that that's why it's called the present, because this is the gift, this moment right here, right now. As I mentioned in previous episodes of this podcast, it's, you know, not the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The rainbow is the gold. So I would encourage you to just take a moment after you've heard the storytelling and check in with yourself, check in and see if you've been on the Hustle Train, on the Hustle and Grind Train, which is what I've been on for a very long time. Thankfully, a friend of mine said, You know, when I mentioned she recently retired from her teaching career to pursue her coaching, and both of us were in a similar place of wanting to leave what we have known and what provided that stability to go off and do the things that we felt called to do. And so right after she retired, this came up for me and she was saying that over the last five years I have built the foundation.
Speaker 1 (00:18:37) - I really sacrificed and done everything that I needed to do to build a solid foundation. My therapist also reminds me that all of the things that I want to give to my daughter, they are not essential in terms of like signing up for this or that excursion or camp or trip, and that I may do with a lot less. So it's okay for now if that's what needs to happen. Ideally, that's not what we'll have to happen. And I've always been able to make things more than work, you know, have magic infused with all of the experiences of how everything comes to fruition. But what I have done, my friend reminded me, is built the foundation and now it's time to build the house. So if you are also in this space where you have worked so hard, I want you to take a moment to celebrate that. And then from there, I want you to take a moment to build the house, to commit to your dreams, to go boldly and courageously, even if it's little by little, micro step by step, really going after that thing.
Speaker 1 (00:19:39) - So wherever you are right now, see if you can get into a comfortable position. I'm in a seat. My legs are crossed in the chair. And just give yourself a moment to settle. So please do this practice safely, not while you're driving. If you want to listen to it, you can listen to it mindfully. But being aware, I'm going to encourage you to close your eyes. And just find yourself in this moment now starting to slow your breath. Starting to let the mind settle. See if you can create more spaciousness between each of your thoughts by focusing on your breath, bringing all of your awareness, all of your attention to your inhalation balanced by your exhalation. And just taking a few cycles of breath, deepening each next cycle, each next inhalation and exhalation a little bit more than the breath before. And just notice what happens in that silence. If the thoughts start to get louder, just invite them to quiet down by returning your focus to your breath. And notice that as you slow your breath, how it engages your parasympathetic nervous system.
Speaker 1 (00:21:19) - So the rest and digest system, you're moving away from action activity, fight or flight into rest and relaxation. And see if you can loosen your belly with every inhalation. Can you let your belly expand and contract and just be very relaxed? So taking a moment in this quiet that we continue to create, to celebrate and honor yourself. I often say that in this moment you have made it through every single one of the hardest moments of your life. And we often forget that there are so many things that we have now that at one point in time we prayed for, we hoped for, we wanted to manifest. And we have that now that those things perhaps have become part of our daily routine, they become normal for us. We've grown into that wisdom and that space. So can you take a moment to celebrate and honor yourself, how far you have come? Even if there is so much further to go that you are aware of that you want to create or achieve in this moment, what is a simple thing that you can celebrate? And as you start to become aware of that.
Speaker 1 (00:23:02) - And aware of that feeling. Can you rest into that knowing? Give yourself permission to delight. Give your heart permission to open up and celebrate how worthy and wonderful you are. And now from here, is there a dream that you want to commit to? That you have been committing to? That you've been afraid to commit to? Is there something that has been quietly speaking to you from the depths of your soul? From the quiet murmurs of your heart. Is there something that you want to claim as your purpose, your journey, the next chapter that you want to write that you don't have to know all of the story? This can be full of pivots and twists and turns, but that there is something that requires a bit more boldness and courage and bravery for you to open up to, to go after. Is there something there? And ask yourself how you can align your mind, your higher self, your unconscious mind, your physical self, your emotional self. How can you align all of this together? Your higher self, your unconscious mind, your conscious mind all towards the direction of this dream? And if there's any hesitancy, any resistance, that's okay.
Speaker 1 (00:25:36) - Come back to your breath. Come back to your awareness right here, right now. So give yourself space to explore. Give yourself compassion. That it's okay to be unclear. To be uncertain. To have doubt. And can you still. Take action. Take one bold action in pursuit of your dream today. All these little steps similar to all the present moments will make up your beautiful story. And as we prepare to come to a close, know that you can come to this internal practice, this inward gaze at any time by following the thread of your breath, bringing yourself to that calm space to hear the quietness. And that conversation that your soul is always endeavoring to have with you. We'll close today's practice the way I used to always close practice when I was teaching yoga class. Inhaling and bringing your palms together at your heart center. Bringing your thumbs to your third eye. That space in between your forehead for clarity of thought. Bringing your thumbs to your lips for clarity of speech, bringing your palms back to your heart.
Speaker 1 (00:27:41) - Center for clarity of intent. Namaste means the divine within me. Honors and salutes the divine within you. Namaste. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you'd like to support me and this show, please go to iTunes and leave your review. It means so much to me and it'll help others find this podcast. I'll catch you in the next episode and if you'd like to stay in touch between now and then, please visit wild hearted words and sign up for my weekly newsletter. I've had people share with me that it's the best thing to arrive in their inbox all week. Aloha.
LIKE WHAT YOU HEARD?
Help us get more content like this out into the world!
Support our podcast or make a donation here.
Keywords: F*ck Saving Face podcast, mental health, emotional health, Asian Americans, marriage, relationships, unconventional, space, epigenetics, inner work, healing, duality
