Do you know your NAICS code?
Have you ever been told you're "too much?"
When you're little, I think it's hard when you know the truth — how to be authentic, how to read the energy of the people around you — when the adults around you tell you what they want you to believe.
Then, you grow up.
And someone who's your peer (a friend, a classmate, a cousin) says something that echoes what the adults said.
That's when your heart breaks.
When you start to doubt yourself and think, "Maybe they were right all along..."
My mother always told me, "You talk too loud, you walk too loud, you laugh too loud."
Everything about me seemed wrong.
As a coping mechanism, I created a little buffer space. I thought (accurately) that she just wanted me to conform to what a good 'guai' Chinese daughter should do.
But then I went to Berkeley, and a friend of mine in the dorms said to me, "You are a lot."
He went on, "I bet it's hard to be in a relationship with you. You're probably a lot to handle."
That's when the protective buffer I had built around me disappeared. Evaporated. And I became the persona my mother had always said I was.
I now believed I was too much.
This is why I always say it's essential to understand 3 key stories in your life:
The story you tell yourself creates your reality = your mindset.
The story you tell others creates your community = your relationships.
And, the story you tell the world builds your brand = your career/business.
If you're running on autopilot, you could be the wrong character in your narrative.
You could be in a chapter you don't even like.
You could be in a mystery or a drama when the genre you really love is adventure or comedy.
Are you clear about what stories you're telling?
Keep in mind, that friend who said I was "a lot" was actually a lot himself. Rumors swirled around the kind of person he was. He demonstrated his character over and over, yet it took me years before I finally said:
Y'know what? I'm good, we don't need to talk anymore.
He was the same person who majored in Engineering and said to me, "What are you going to do with an English degree?"
Publish books. Launch a podcast. Build a kick-ass company.
Next week, on my F*ck Saving Face podcast, I'm going to have emotional intelligence expert and keynote speaker, Nicole F. Smith, on the show.
Here's what she says about walking loud, talking loud, and being unapologetically you:
If I'm too much, you can go find less.
That's exactly the vibe.
To help you rewrite your key stories, ask yourself:
What's the recurring thought I think most of the day?
Is it serving me?
Or, is it stopping me?
What do my relationships currently feel like?
Are they filling me up?
Or, are they taking me down?
Do I know how to talk about my business, my brand, or my work that others find compelling?
How can I create such amazing results that my business continues to grow through one of the most effective referral engines: word-of-mouth marketing?
Do my clients know what to say about me when they're talking about me to their network?
If you'd like to connect to get more support, schedule a complimentary meet + greet.
Love,
Judy
