EPISODE 66: [MINDFULNESS] EXPRESS YOURSELF UNAPOLOGETICALLY

Sep 24

Takeaways

Welcome to our first mindfulness episode of season 2 of the F*ck Saving Face Podcast! Today’s meditation focuses on freedom — the freedom to express yourself unapologetically.

After presenting to the San Diego chapter of The Founders Topic, I felt inspired to create this meditation. I talked a lot about how it's essential to take care of yourself as a human being from a mental and emotional health perspective, and while I stand behind this statement, I got so worked up about this topic because it felt so woo-woo.

It got me thinking: why do I feel like I have to put on a mask around certain people? Can you relate to the feeling of having different personas when you’re with your family, coworkers, and friends? We feel like groups of people expect different things from us.

But like I always say, there will never be another version of you. So be wildly you because you’re born and built the way you are, and there’s no changing that. Of course, this is easier said than done — so, join me in this meditation if you want to learn how to freely and unapologetically express yourself and live out the freedom you’re looking for in life.

We also explore:

The Founders Institute
Exploring discomfort — as discussed in Episode 65

Transcript:

Judy Tsuei 0:06

Welcome to the fuck saving face podcast. I'm your host, Judy Tsuei. And together we'll explore mental and emotional health for Asian Americans and beyond all by breaking through taboo topics, like may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Let's make your story beautiful today.

Judy Tsuei 0:25

Welcome to the third episode of season two. Thank you so much for joining me, I have moved my recording space today. I'm currently in my kitchen dining room area, because my daughter is still asleep. She usually crawls over to my room early, early, early in the morning for cuddles. And then I get up and tried to do mom things. So she's currently there right now, which is where I would usually be recording this. And I'm taking these few snippets after my own meditation to record this meditation for you.

Judy Tsuei 1:41

During my meditation today, this idea of freedom came about and truly being free, being free to be yourself, feeling free in the world. Sometimes if you're a parent, you can feel overwhelmed with responsibilities. So just this freedom from expectation of who we are supposed to be, what we're supposed to do that so much of what my memoir is about is learning how to reconcile the cultural and familial and outside expectations with those that really drive you innately and inherently, and from an intrinsic place. I was asked to be a mentor with the founders Institute.

So I'm a mentor with the San Diego chapter. It's an incredible accelerator program for entrepreneurs. And I've been able to bring my strategic content marketing expertise to all of these people. And during the call, during my recent presentation, for the branding marketing week, I was co facilitating this event with two other mentors, and a moderator and an array of incredible again, really, you know, ingenious, heart driven entrepreneurs. And at the end of the presentation, when the moderator asked each of the mentors to share an insight, based on our own journeys, the other founder of an agency here in San Diego, you know, was talking about, kind of like the nuts and bolts of being able to get investment capital.

Judy Tsuei 2:28

And when it was my turn, I shared about how essential it is to really take care of you as a human being from a mental and emotional health perspective, that this journey requires you to have sustainability, and that it's a huge personal development journey. So to be kind and gentle, and to celebrate your wins. And afterwards, I texted my friend Ben, who is the one who brought me on as mentor. And I was choking and saying how woowoo I am and how contrarian I was to so many of the other mentors who are really focused on kind of the, you know, A to B to C, like the things that you need to do and your pitch deck to get investment, capital, all of those kinds of things.

Judy Tsuei 3:07

But I feel like always we forget that we are at the root of it, we are at the core of this journey, that there is no one else who's going to be walking the steps that we are walking. So it's incredibly essential to take care of yourself, whatever endeavor that you choose to do. And my friend Ben texted me back and said it was a great presentation, and that this is so much of what entrepreneurs and anyone needs to hear that at the end of the day, if our mental and emotional health aren't a priority, and we're not taking care of ourselves, then the ripple effect and the consequences and effects are huge.

Judy Tsuei 3:41

We become shorter with the people that we love in our lives, we become you know, less capable, more overwhelmed parents, we become less able in our jobs and our chosen passion, pursuits and whatever it is. So I hope that these mindfulness exercises and practices are an opportunity for you to truly come back to yourself for you to remember what's important. And for you to have that sense of freedom, that you can clear away the clutter and the stories that we've told ourselves of the things that are important to evaluate what your own core values are.

Judy Tsuei 4:16

I live in North County, San Diego, I'm surrounded by what seems like an exorbitant amount of wealth sometimes yesterday we drove to Alpine to this lions, tigers and bears Oh, my sanctuary, where it's truly, you know, rescue space for all these wild cats, lions, tigers, all of these kinds of incredible animals. And just on the drive from North County, San Diego to Alpine it was a market difference of the feel of the community of the types of stores that were there of just you know, it was just such a difference. And I think that it's so essential to remember that our surroundings inform us so strongly at times. gyms that we forget to take stock, or to take a step back and really check in, is this something that I want? Is this something that I subscribe to? Does this feel right for me? Is it aligned for me? How can I show up respectfully for myself, for the community that I'm a part of.

Judy Tsuei 5:17

And so, I want this mindfulness practice today to be all about that checking back in with yourself, that being able to find the kind of freedom that you're looking for in your life. However, that expresses for you creative freedom, financial freedom, you know, just the freedom to express yourself. I think this is why I'm so passionate about getting into crypto, it's an opportunity to take things that aren't working and reevaluate. And however, that unfolds, you know, we are a group collective as a humanity.

Judy Tsuei 5:20

So I think we have trends and patterns within us that behavioral analysts will tell you, you know, this is what drives us. This is why we act the way that we do, that are all pervasive through millennia. But at the same time, coming back to your unique expression of self on this planet. You've heard me say this in the podcast over and over again, from the beginning of time ever after there will never ever be another you. So be wildly you, you're born and built the way that you are for your beautiful

Judy Tsuei 6:23

expression of your presence in the world. And I highly encourage and support you in moving forward with that. So let's get into today's mindfulness practice. Just start to connect to your breath. And perhaps notice where you are in your body, where you are in space, where you are right now.

Judy Tsuei 6:55

See, if you can start to slow things down. We are usually operating at a very quick pace. By the design of our lives, going from one place to another one obligation to another one social media ping to another. There's a lot that's happening. So can you come back to your center of self. Just slow things down with your breath. Observe your inhalation. Notice where you feel it in your body and observe your exhalation. So you may feel drawn more to one breath than the other.

Judy Tsuei 7:53

You need more of an inhalation to replenish yourself to bring in new life energy. Or maybe you need more of that exhalation to let go to surrender, to just drop the load, the heaviness, the stress that you may be carrying. Whichever one you feel more called to bring your awareness and attention to that part of your breath. And over the next few cycles, really extend and elaborate that for you. Again, there's no right or wrong answer. It's your inhale or your exhale and whatever you feel that you need right here right now.

Judy Tsuei 8:52

So the most recent interview that we did, last week's episode was with Sarah and Misasha, the CO hosts of the dear white women podcast. They're women, they're entrepreneurs. They're mothers. They're raising children who are multi racial, that have different ethnic backgrounds. And they really encourage every single one of us to have the uncomfortable conversations with grace and with respect and with compassion to move us forward into the lives and the world that we want to create for ourselves and for future generations. So I encourage you to take a moment and explore the discomfort that you may be feeling right now. That you may have been holding for a certain element of your life. That discomfort is an indicator often that there are growth opportunities there

Judy Tsuei 10:04

It always feels nice to be aligned, to be in flow, to have things come easy. And I'm a huge advocate of that, celebrating that in your life. Really focusing your attention and energy there. So the days that you move through this world can be seamless, and wonderful and filled with beauty and gratitude. And at the same time, the friction that we experience, or opportunities for growth, for reflection for connection, for surrendering and letting go of the things that no longer serve us. And it is up to you and your unique wisdom to discern what that is for you. And where the growth and the magic and the beauty of you being human in your journey lies.

Judy Tsuei 11:06

It used to be for me in my rigid all or nothing thinking, My perfectionistic approach to life because it felt safe for me in the chaos that I grew up with. That it was either or, there was no and, and yet, through my personal healing, my spiritual journey, my learning and growing as a person, and as a mother, I have learned how important the word and is that you can feel this way and feel that way. And at times, those feelings can seem to be opposing, they can seem to be very different. But you are a sacred container, and you are an expansive container.

Judy Tsuei 11:53

And you can hold all of this without judgment of yourself. And even having that greater empathy and compassion for those that are different. We are all trying the best that we can with the knowledge that we have in this moment. Sometimes we falter and make mistakes and hurt other people. But how can we come back? Make things right? find forgiveness. Have the harder conversations. And let those opportunities lead to growth and connection. Continuing to come back to your breath. Seeing if you can create more space in yourself for those and statements those and ideas.

Judy Tsuei 12:46

Maybe lengthening your collarbone broadening your shoulders, reaching your shoulder blades down your back reaching the crown of your head up towards the sky. Finding lengthen your spine, lengthen your body. And really imagining that you are this Divining Rod between the heavens and the earth. That your feet whatever is making contact with the earth beneath you is grounded is rooted and this vast planet of ours can hold on to you. Your stressors, your burdens, can really help provide that sense of stability, when all else may be feeling wonky, off kilter, teetering.

Judy Tsuei 13:35

And then can you reach the crown of your head up towards the sky, feeling yourself reaching up and up and up through the heavens through the universe up toward the abyss and the unknown. So that you become fully expansive connected between what we can see and what we cannot see what we can feel with our bodies. And what we take leaps of faith to believe in and with a breath moving through your ribcage expanding through your side body, imagining that you're reaching far and wide.

And you are connected to this community and all of the humans on this planet. That we are all people who are seeking love seeking to be understood and accepted just as we are. That we have been imprinted by the guardians who came before us and our ancestors in our culture, our lived experiences and we are taking that the knowledge and what works for us and what doesn't to do the same for the next generation for the people in our lives. So in that Can you find the freedom of expression of yourself, what feels right and aligned and true for you? Sometimes those are core truths that are within us that we will believe that we have believed since we were born ever after they make up the fabric of who we are.

And some of those beliefs are shifting as we receive more information. As we learn as we evolve and elevate and grow. Can we come back to that and statement hold all of the like the Chamber Nautilus that builds one chamber after the other, the next chamber being bigger and more spacious, but yet being built upon all the materials of the past, residing in that delicate space of being in the here and now but not shutting everything, taking what works for us and moving that into the next chapter evolution of our lives. Take another deep breath in.

Judy Tsuei 16:10

Deep breath out. Come back to that sense of breath. And whatever you were called to before to focus on the inhalation or to focus on the exhalation is that the same now? Has it shifted? Has it changed is that the same? Whatever it is, that's okay. Give yourself the permission to honor what it is that you need here and now.

Judy Tsuei 16:51

When you're ready, if it feels comfortable, you can move your body around a bit. And it's okay if there are background noises that pop up. It's okay. If everything isn't perfect. It is what it is. And I choose to focus on the mantra that everything is always working out for me. Everything is always working out for us whether we can see it in the moment or not. Everything is always working out for us. So on your next inhale, reaching your arms out along if you have the space, reaching your arms up towards the sky, reconnecting with that idea of the divining rod.

Judy Tsuei 21:28

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. You can follow me on Instagram at F*cx saving face or have an honest conversation with me in my private Facebook group f*ck saving face. That's fact without the if you enjoy this work, please help support and sustain it. The best ways to do that are to share it with your friends and networks. Subscribe rate and review on your listening platforms and of course through your thoughtful financial donation. You can buy me a coffee or treatment or lunch or share it even bigger lab at F*ck saving face.com Again, that's without the you