EPISODE 63: [MINDFULNESS] EXPAND YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS

Sep 24

Takeaways

It’s the last episode of season 1 of the F*ck Saving Face podcast! Now that we’ve come to a close, I felt that this calls for a mindfulness practice that helps us reflect upon our lives, so we can truly appreciate and celebrate. In modern culture today, there are so few rituals and rites that we embark upon to mark how hard we’ve worked, all the ways in which we’ve shown up, and the lessons we’ve gained along the way… even if they were hard ones. Today’s episode encourages us to thank the people who have supported us, to integrate our experiences, and most importantly, to take time to appreciate ourselves. You are brave and courageous. You’ve come far. You’re continuing to show up through life’s complexities.

We may all go through different battles, but I hope that throughout Season 1, I’ve offered you tools, resources, and expert insights on how to equip yourself with what you need to keep on’ keepin’ on.

Just for today, let’s celebrate small wins, progress, growth, learning and wisdom. And, I hope you’ll continue this journey with me in Season 2!

We also explore:

10000 hours rule from Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Simon & Schuster
DMT - as discussed in Episode 61
Ketamine - as discussed in Episode 62

Transcript:

Judy Tsuei 0:06

Welcome to the F*ck Saving Face podcast. I'm your host, Judy Tsuei, and together we'll explore mental and emotional health for Asian Americans, especially breaking through any taboo topics. Life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Let's make your story beautiful today.

Judy Tsuei 0:23

Hello, hello, hello! Welcome to the last mindfulness practice of season one. We have arrived, we are here. I think that in our modern culture, we often don't have the same rights or rituals that we used to have that our ancestors used to have. I know that there are plenty of traditions, you know, that my grandmother and my aunts and uncles, and even me living in Asia that I just feel like I yearn for, and I crave because celebrations are an incredible way to mark all of the hard work that we've done to show up in our lives, all of the, you know, challenges that we've overcome, and all the heartbreaks that we've healed, I think it's a remarkable thing.

Judy Tsuei 1:05

And I also think that the rituals that we have in modern culture today are usually, let's say, graduation from school. It's your high school graduation, or maybe if you graduated from elementary school into middle school, or other things like getting married, for example, but how often do we just demarcate like a lot of my friends are very much into astrology. So marking the full moon, the new moon, or just any other opportunity to truly celebrate. I know for me, I'm always looking so far ahead. And so it's been a lesson for me over this last year when I got that book deal with the independent publishing house that's associated with Simon and Schuster. So if you go to Simon Schuster, his website, my name is there.

Judy Tsuei 1:47

You know, it's been a dream of mine. Since I was little, I had created a super successful Kickstarter campaign with my husband at the time, and our friend Adam on KY, we raised over $10,000 to publish a children's book. And so that was kind of my first foray, I wrote another self published book when I was focusing on working with moms after having my daughter. But I thought that getting the book deal would be the big thing. And then I realized that because I wasn't taking a moment to celebrate, and really honor this goal that I had achieved, partly because it felt like it came so easy to me, and a lot of the hard things that I think people really go after, for me in the magical manifestation way that I live my life, a lot of opportunities present themselves that I say yes to, and I truly believe luck favors the prepared.

Judy Tsuei 2:32

So it's not like I'm just floating around willy nilly, I do believe that I show up and I do the hard work. But then from there, I get offered these opportunities and instead of, you know, celebrating them or even honoring my ability to craft story that for me, because it feels like second nature because it feels like breathing to me. I think it's been hard for me to honor and really appreciate this gift for me, because I do put so I mean, I don't even know Malcolm Gladwell has that 10,000 hours to become an expert, I definitely have put more time than that into my craft. And at the same time, you know, I think so many of us have gifts that we just kind of, I don't know if take for granted is the right word, but we just have as part of our toolkit or as part of who we are.

Judy Tsuei 3:15

And so really offering opportunities to just take a moment to breathe. That's what these Friday mindfulness practices are formed to reflect upon the week, you know, that had come all of the lessons if you listen to all three episodes for the week, what has come up for you what you've reflected upon areas of growth, or potential areas of, you know, opportunity for conflict resolution for some healing. All of that. I hope that today's episode is not just focused on this last week, where we were talking about ketamine therapy, where we were talking about other ways to expand consciousness and really empower mental and emotional health.

Judy Tsuei 3:56

But kind of as a wrap up for the entire season of you being here with me, you showing up me celebrating myself for achieving this dream. I've had this dream for forever of having a podcast I've listened to, you know, 1000s of hours of audio and audio books and other people's podcasts. So this has been a labor of love. It's been an opportunity for me to create a platform to rally community to speak up for the voices that need to be heard. Now more than ever, and ultimately, I think it's a combination of all of the skill sets that I've had all the different careers that I've had being a yoga teacher and a Reiki practitioner and a writer and a marketer and you know, a community builder. All of these things are brand representative merging them all together for this.

Judy Tsuei 4:45

So I hope that today's practice gives you an opportunity to realize that there's so much beyond what we comprehend with our five senses. If you've studied yoga, you know about the subtle energies I've explored that in previous mindfulness practices. And if you've listened to this last week, then understanding that there's so much more to consciousness than we can see.

Judy Tsuei 5:08

I was just talking to a neighbor of mine who experienced a seizure recently. And then he was the second person in that week who told me that he had a seizure. And my other friend also shared that he had a seizure in the night, and that it's actually fairly common. A lot of us have them, we just don't know about them. But that when my neighbor went to go speak to the doctors, and he, you know, gone to the ER, he had seen a primary care physician, they sent him to a therapist, all of these things that ultimately all the doctors just kept telling him, we actually know very little about the brain after all of this scientific study, there's just so much that's unknown.

Judy Tsuei 5:45

So understanding that, and maybe you've heard that kind of analogy that's similar to the ocean that there's so much of the ocean that's unexplored because of the depths of the ocean. There's so much of the brain that's unexplored because of the depths of the brain, and how we're all wired differently. We're all built differently. So if that's the case, then what if we can live in the wonder and the magic? What if we could live in that unknown space? In that? We don't know what we don't know. So how do we know what questions to ask how do we start exploring this.

Judy Tsuei 6:18

And I hope that as we close season one, that all of the conversations we've had with all the experts that have been brought on to the show. And you know, with my personal essays on Mondays and the mindfulness practices on Fridays, were just an invitation to explore more to be curious about who you are, and the conversations that we could have with the people in our lives. And just seeing how wondrous all of our stories are, whether they're shared and similar, or whether they're very, very different.

Judy Tsuei 6:50

I'm also going to take a moment to thank everyone who has listened and supported the podcast whether you made a donation whether you sent an encouraging message, whether you shared how this has impacted your life, or shared it with a friend. However, you've shown up in support of the fact saving face podcast and this idea of breaking through taboo topics so that we can really remove the shame and stigma around mental and emotional health. I celebrate you, I honor you, I'm so so grateful for you.

Judy Tsuei 7:21

And since I began this podcast, there are a few people in my life who are so near and dear to me, I have an incredible community of humans, who rally with me who we support one another. They range anywhere from the moms that I know who are part of my incredible tribe. And that includes Brett, Ariane, Nicole, Margaret, Joanna, all of you are just the most remarkable women I am blessed to know. And I'm so grateful that we paddle out together that our kids are the same age that we can dive in deep to remarkable conversations, where there's just no filter, and it is the most remarkable connections that I could ask for.

Judy Tsuei 8:06

I also have such an amazing partner in my life, who's continued to show up and help me heal so much. I recognized the other day that he is such a beautiful gift from the universe, to balance out some of the hardest experiences that I had in my marriage, where I truly didn't think or believe that I would meet someone who's healthy, who's communicative, who I get to experience for the first time in my adult life in relationship, this joy of celebrating someone else's happiness, and contentment. And, you know, with no attachment, that it doesn't have anything to do with me that the things that make them come alive are very different from the things that make me come alive. But watching that person pursue excellence, pursue their career, pursue joy. It's been such a gift to understand why you can really love someone and really champion their growth with no attachment on my end to them. And vice versa.

Judy Tsuei 9:12

I feel like I'm still learning about mature love of growing up and being in true partnership in a very respectful partnership. And it's not to say we haven't had hiccups or growth opportunities because we have but as I've mentioned before, my very near and dear neighbor who's like family to me, Carrie has always said that it's the coming back together that truly strengthens our relationship because you will have those moments where one of you slips up, makes a mistake, you have conflict because you're two humans living your lives. But it's the coming back together. And I really rely upon that wisdom and insight as I parent, my daughter, and through the different connections that I have with the people in my life.

Judy Tsuei 9:57

So that's been an incredible gift to me, and also my daughter who you've heard on the podcast a couple of times, she's been in some of the outros I did an interview with her, watching her grow up, she's now six and a half and seeing that transition from, you know, a little kid to girl to full human of her own volition, of the things that she loves, and makes her come alive. It's such an honor to witness and being a divorced parent, and learning from an earlier age than most that you truly have to surrender, that it is an illusion. I think all of us have come to this conclusion over the pandemic over the last couple of years, that there's an illusion of control and how wearing it can be to have so many unknowns in your life. So how do you navigate that? How do you deal with it, you know, hopefully, practices like today are an opportunity to bring yourself back to center and find that groundedness and give you the steadiness that you need to continue to move forward in life in experiencing the human condition.

Judy Tsuei 10:59

I always say this, that life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. And for anybody who knows me in my life, you know, and anybody who wants to get more access and support the podcast and have these Ask me anything conversations, you're welcome to go to patreon and do that. But anybody who's in my close inner circle knows just how I show up in full. I just knocked over my coffee. In full humanity, there's nothing that I hide. I'm not on social media, touting all the pretty Rainbows, and cupcakes and unicorns, even though I want that.

Judy Tsuei 11:39

But I also think that that perpetuates that feeling that we are far from where we want to be, which creates more of that negativity, or that doubt within ourselves that we're doing something wrong. So I want to show the whole gamut of emotion. And as my friend Aviv has said, you know, when you're in my close inner circle, that it can be disarming because I show up with no pretense. And just, I'm here, I'm just gonna be human right along with you right beside you.

Judy Tsuei 12:05

And I want to definitely thank my incredible podcast editor who is listening right now, as he's editing this. It's been such a remarkable collaboration between the two of us, and I'm very, very grateful that I found him and that we've worked together and created the show together, he's done way more than just the technical editing aspect of things, you know, he's cheered and rallied me on. And it's been just such a remarkable journey to be doing this work with people who are good humans on the planet. So if you've had some doubts lately, and had some interactions with people who are not that which I have had in recent days, then it's really great to just know that you have a tribe, around you who are supporting you, even if sometimes it's hard to reach out, or hard to access or hard to connect with that those people are there for you.

Judy Tsuei 13:00

So all of us is to say that, you know, it's kind of like my gratitude list. It's being in that vibe of appreciation. And I had a cranial sacral therapist Tell me regularly that the more grateful you are, the more things you have to be grateful for. So I've really kept that as a threat in my life. And I invite you to also do the same in today's mindfulness practice, just even when things are hard, because they are hard. And I've had so many conversations with people as of late, where they're hard, you know, everyone's going through their own things. Even if on the surface, it doesn't seem like it. trust you and me, we all have things.

Judy Tsuei 13:38

So, you know, with that in mind, how can we still find the beauty? How can we still find the ways in which we've shown up and to thank the universe for all of the other subtle and obvious ways in which life has continued to show up for us to and all the people in it.

Judy Tsuei 14:01

So today's mindfulness practice is going to be more short and sweet. More like finding closure and celebration. It's going to be an opportunity to expand what we believe is possible, that you can be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time, which is something one of the peloton instructors that I listened to and ride with says often that you don't need to be perfect that it is progress over perfection. And that you are enough just as you are right here right now. Taking a deep breath in And a deep breath out. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, taking a moment to pause and really celebrate that you hear now have made it through the hardest experiences of your life. All those moments of doubt, when you didn't think you could come through, look where you are now. And it may not be perfect yet. But again, we're not aiming for perfect. We're aiming for progress and growth, learning and wisdom.

Judy Tsuei 15:47

That there very well may come in time when someone in your life needs you, to help them with what you've learned through what you're going through right now. And it's only through the fact that you have gone through it, and you have come out on the other side, that you are able to help someone else who is where you are now, who's seeking that hope, and that faith and that hope. And that you can be the person who holds it for them until they're able to hold it for themselves again. And so it goes, this ripple effect of growth and sharing of support and championing. Being there for one another and being there for ourselves.

Judy Tsuei 16:40

There was a time a couple of years ago, when I was living in Asia, getting ready to officially divorce. I had no idea how things were going to pan out. And I was terrified. I was terrified of the financial aspect of things of what it would mean for my daughter of where we were going to live. A really basic fundamental things, and then big overarching philosophical things I was worried about at all. And here I am, to some odd years later, with a book deal with a community with work that I've done that I'm proud of, with a podcast with a relationship with a healthy, thriving daughter. And I just had lunch yesterday with a colleague and a former company who took over the position that I was working as a contractor for and they want to bring me on paper brought me on for a photoshoot.

Judy Tsuei 17:59

But now they want to bring me on for more content marketing work. And as we were talking, this fellow writer shared that there had been a new opportunity that opened up with the company. But that it was very junior. So my experience level far surpassed what they were looking for. But then the creative director who I'd worked with closely, said something to this writer and said, You know the positions too Junior for Judy, then in addition to that, if all goes well, the way that I think that it will for her because he's listened to my podcast, and he knows the quality and caliber of my work. And he knows the book, A Memoir that I'm going for. He said, within a year, she would leave anyway, because she'd be on to the next thing. On to great things. So there are people in your life right now, who believe in you like that. Who you may not even know who are cheering you on quietly, silently from afar, watching you reveling in joy and loving you when things are hard.

Judy Tsuei 19:19

As what we've learned with this expansion and consciousness, where people have different experiences and iosa, DMT, LST, acid, ketamine all of these things that have a lot of judgment and negativity, risks and real science. All of these are reminders that there's so much beyond what we think we know has an ever evolving universe, an ever expanding universe, an ever expanding human consciousness within that universe, the edge keeps growing. We keep growing. So whether it's believable now or not, whether it's easy to wrap your head around or not. There are forces both seen and unseen in the universe, who are working in your favor. For your greatest experiences and expression of self in this lifetime.

Judy Tsuei 20:47

You are enough. You are loved by the universe. And in my book, the first one that's coming out with Simon and Schuster, I wrote about the Tibetan rites, and how we are all made of starstuff, that you may have heard that expression before. And it was hard for me to understand until I dove into the science, that when the universe was formed and created, the elements that were created, nitrogen, carbon, all of these smaller elements in the periodic table as well. Those are all part of us. And the stars continued to grow and evolve and then die and grow and evolve and die and are reborn. And that whole entire process, this galactic combustion, transformation, all of the ripple effect, is what we see in the ocean, in the mountains in the forest, in us. We are made of this starstuff you are brilliant. You are bold, and you're courageous. You have done hard things and you continue to do hard things.

Judy Tsuei 22:37

Remember how wondrous you are. You are a miracle. You are magical. You are beautiful, exactly the way that you are with all the human frailty and the human strength. You are made of greatness. You have greatness within you. And the world needs you now and all of your imperfections and mine too. I hope that we continue to celebrate the beauty, of connection and of contributing to the greater good. And to the communities around us. taking another deep breath in. Deep breath out. One more breath in. One more breath out.

Judy Tsuei 24:19

If your eyes were closed for them open I hope that you know how wondrous you are. And I'm grateful that you took the time to listen today. We will be taking a bit of a break in August and a little bit of September and coming back with Season Two in September. So I hope that during this hiatus that you live your life in the way that is aligned for you to be wildly you and I'm excited to see what else unfolds. So if you want to stay in touch I'm always here reading every email Hello@fcksavingface.com that's fuck without the "u" and I'm wishing you well until we reconnect again. Aloha.

Wilder 25:05

Please support my mom's podcast has a bad word in it, but I think you'll know where to find that.

Judy Tsuei 25:13

Thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If you liked what you heard and know someone in your life who might also benefit from hearing this episode, please feel free to share it with them. Also, if you'd like to support our show, you can make a one-time donation fcksavingface.com. Or, you can make a recurring donation at patreon.com/fcksavingface. That's “fck” without the “u.” Subscribe today to stay tuned for all future episodes.