"Why are you even in this Program?"

"Why are you even in this Program?"

I was on a Zoom call in the airport lounge with a Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses paired partner working through our financials.

"I mean, there are several of you I see where I feel like y'all are doing great, so you don't need this?"

"My parents were somewhat failed entrepreneurs," I told him. "So, I have this story in my head about that. We grew up with so much debt and I want to be sure that I create a different outcome for my business."

I knew what he meant — because I felt the same way about him and several other members of our cohort.

They're making great money, so ah...

"I never finished college," he told me. "So, I feel like this is kind of that education for me."

This is a man who was in the military. Who runs a successful ambulance company. Who also owns a highly-rated grilled cheese restaurant in Atlanta, GA.

"Then, you get it," I smiled across the screen.

We all have stories we battle in our minds.

Things that hold us back — things that maybe no one else is thinking.

Social psychologist Brian S. Lowery recently did a TED Talk, explaining how checking off your goals isn't the best way to find meaning in life.

At the end of our trip to Spain, I realized I was doing just that... checking off this monument, that landmark, another meal.

When I asked my daughter the highlight of her trip, she said, "Time with you."

Lowery agrees that's the most important thing too: "Focusing on our connections with other people is what's important."

"We will all be gone eventually — the only thing that will be left of you is the role you played in other people's stories, what you leave with other people — how that reverberates through time. And that is a beautiful thing."

I have been going for second best.

The truth about this trip to Spain?

It's actually not the first destination I wanted to go to in Europe. But, rather than aim for the moon, I decided to go for, well... something close-ish.

Trust me, I'm truly grateful.

We had a great time.

We made unforgettable memories, like when the button to my overalls came loose and I wondered why my pants felt weirdly loose all of a sudden... I didn't realize I was flashing hundreds of people at the Arc de Triomf as we crossed the street.

"Mom!" Wilder shouted when she looked behind me. "Your underwear is showing!"

But, other destinations have been on my bucket list. Spain was a good choice... and I could also have chosen Greece, Portugal, Iceland, the list goes on.

Towards the end of our trip, things started to get harder. Small things, things that required us to pivot, things that cost more money. We couldn't get a train back to Bilbao from Barcelona, so we had to buy last-minute plane tickets, and so on.

On our flight back to San Diego this morning, it finally clicked.

I need to stop going for "second best."

There's a quiet wonder of worthiness that still seeps into my decisions. If you're not told you're worthy, if you're a woman of color, then you've likely had to work harder than any counterpart to achieve comparable results.

It's no wonder we hit glass or bamboo ceilings. It's because we're operating in worlds not designed for us to thrive, but to be "just enough."

That's when I thought about my conversation with my Goldman Sachs partner...

He sees me the way so many other people see me. Which, ultimately, is different than I do.

When I got my first tattoo, it was the Sanskrit word for 'Parvati'.

'Parvati' was the name I was given when I completed my advanced yoga teacher training, hundreds of hours devoted to this spiritual, meditative, and physical practice.

One of the teachers I greatly admired ceremoniously bestowed it upon me.

And here's what she said:

Parvati is the goddess of all creation, the creative life force of the Universe. We're giving you this name because this is how we see you...
​

We know you don't see yourself like this right now. But we hope that one day, you will.

You don't have to wait to be enough.

If you've also been going for second best, I want to reassure you that there's nothing "wrong" with you.

Instead, there are likely environmental, generational, and cultural factors that have put you in a smaller box than the space you're meant to fill.

We're flying back to San Diego right now... on Friday, I leave for Arizona to complete a 5-day Live Intensive from my Neuro Linguistic Programming Coaching Program.

The difference between NLP Coaching and any other I've experienced, is that you're removing the baggage to return to the essence of you. THEN the coaching begins. If you don't peel away those layers first, then often, the modalities you invest in will be coaching to the superficial levels of you, the stories that you're continually telling yourself that you may not be consciously aware of.

If you're curious about what NLP is all about — and you've been wanting a personal brand after embarking on a substantial internal shift — book a complimentary Right Fit Assessment Call.

Love,

Judy

P.S. I want you to know that I'm always doing the work, too. We can do this together.