When your child calls another woman "mom."

2 days ago, I was FaceTiming my daughter at her dad's house — and heard her call her stepmom, "Mom."

Not Bonus Mom. Not Mama [Her Name]. Just "Mom."

Our culture doesn't teach us how to navigate grief. It doesn't show us that it comes from the most mundane moments.

There's a lot the world doesn't teach us about being human.

I wrote about this experience on IG — and then used it to coach a client through the storytelling she'll be using in her business.

I received dozens of responses and they ranged from:

Anger + heartbreak on my behalf
Encouragement that I'm doing a good job as a mom
Suggestions on how to handle it
Thoughts that my daughter's dad and stepmom should do something
And, the experiences others had growing up in divorced households

Do you know what I saw the most?

Each of us has such diverse stories to bring to the table.
What works for us; what doesn't.
Empathy.
Projection.
And, the hope of learning from one another.

In the end, I checked in with myself...

I know my daughter loves me.

I know that we have a special relationship.

I know that it's important what I do doesn't come from ego or insecurity.

I'm actually grateful very there's someone in her life who loves her so much that she feels deeply connected.

I'm also clear I would never want her to feel guilty about their relationship in any way — so if I choose to bring this up with her, I would have to do it carefully.

But first? I called my ex-husband.

We don't talk on the phone.

We use an app for co-parenting that documents all of our communication.

We say very little when we see each other in person.

Except things have shifted — I'm different now. And (below) you'll find the mantra I've used to directly change my outcomes.

I first asked a key question: "What would the real Judy do about this situation?"

The real Judy is the one who has the blueprint where I'm 100% valuable, 100% powerful, and 100% safe.

You have this blueprint, too.

Your true blueprint fully and accurately reflects who you really are. It's just that life (and the people in it) sometimes build something on top of us that we've started to call "home."

Once I asked the question, I realized that I needed to call her dad...

"Before I potentially chat with Wilder about this," I told him, "I'd like to connect with you to be sure that I understand how this moniker came about?" (Yes, I used the word 'moniker.')

I wasn't attacking.

In fact, I started the conversation with something I knew he felt more comfortable talking about.

Then, I segued into this question.

He reassured me that no one's trying to replace me. (I told him I wasn't worried about that.)

He gave me the backstory of how they started using "Bonus Mom" and how it organically evolved into "Mom."

The thing is, I don't have an answer to what or how I'd like anything to be different if at all... and I told him as much.

Simply letting him know was an act of strength on my part. It was me doing my role to understand the whole story, to decide my next step based on information rather than assumptions.

I hung up the phone.

And then, felt the feelings.

Grief. Peace. Everything in between...

These newsletters I send are designed to focus on internal work — because focusing within makes the most difference in your external world.

If you're looking to shift your life, I encourage you to read Dr. Larry Farwell's book, The Science of Creating Miracles. He was selected as TIME 100 Top Innovators of our time, trained at Harvard, and has worked with the military.

The Transmutation Trigger Technique below may sound "woo" but when you discover the quantum physics behind it? You'll see how it's rooted in science.

I've been coaching women leaders through mindset shifts and personal branding — if this speaks to you too, feel free to schedule a complimentary meet + greet.

What Joon S. Han said about what it takes to create a successful business...

ACENextGen hosted an event where TEDx speaker, Joon S. Han, continued his mission to inspired 10,000 entrepreneurs to creating epic success.

I'm grateful that I was referred to him by Misa Chien, founder of The Authentic Asian, an organization with which I'm a Late Stage Entrepreneur Coach, to meet with Joon directly. We've had coffee a couple of times and he's become one of my greatest advocates.

Here's his take on what makes a successful business — what he considers when buying a company:

You need to have a linear trajectory of success. There shouldn't be huge ups and downs. It should continue to move in a consistent manner (upward).

"When I talk to my billionaire and millionaire friends, they say that it's ultimately just a stroke of luck. They were doing just fine, consistently growing, and then whoosh, the hockey stick of success."
If the top 2 layers of your management team went away for 3 months, what would your company would look like? That's the state of how "healthy" your company is.

As a founder, imagine if you took a 3-month vacay on a deserted island. You couldn't access anything for your company. Then, you came back. What would your company look like then? If it's still running smoothly, you've got the kind of organizational structure a buyer or investor is looking for.

Joon is actually the mentor who encouraged me to launch my Kickstarter for my upcoming book.

Thanks to him, I've pursued bringing my dreams to life!

Find your community. Find your Human Design blueprint. Those two things will dramatically change your life and your business — if you're not sure how, reply to this email and I'll share with you my favorite resources on doing both.

Have a beautiful rest of your week,

Judy