EP 86: [MINDFULNESS] AGING INTO A NEW STAGE OF CONTENTMENT

Sep 24

Takeaways

Recently, I've been listening to the Rich Roll podcast and am fascinated by the wisdom from his guests, especially two that talk about Modern Elders and what makes us truly happy as we embark on the next phases of our lives: Arthur Brooks and Chip Conley.

Given my recent trip to Hawaii, I discovered more insights into myself, what's important, what to let go of, and how to let love in. Listen today and take a few moments to arrive where you are now.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the fuck saving face podcast we're empowering mental and emotional health for Asian Americans by breaking through taboo topics like may not always be pretty but it is indeed let's make your story beautiful so these mindfulness practices are some of my favorite things and I recently signed up for this course to learn about how to grow a newsletter on sub stack for a very long time my newsletters were people's favorite things to get in their inbox but as they continue to grow my agency wild hearted words and you know how this podcast and have a daughter and all these other things that writing kind of fell to the wayside and so now I'm curious as to how to get back into the things that I'm passionate about there is a writer Tim Denning who I follow and he's the one who actually hosts the sub stock worse and I was able to talk to one of his collaborators and his partners in a live conversation and you know this collaboration so excited to hear about the content that I was thinking of creating on sub stack and when I was in Hawaii I had this idea I often get these ideas when I'm in nature and when I'm hiking in when I'm in my own head and just kind of lost in the beauty and the power of mother nature as I was on my spiritual journey years and years ago mother nature was the first thing that I felt like was truly deeply pig and spiritual and bigger than me and so I often have these big aha moments when I'm out and about often hiking often quietly by myself one of the first trips that I took solo was to palm springs when I was in my mid twenties I had just gotten back from living abroad in China %HESITATION I had a lot of healing that I was doing because of my eating disorder or something that I'd been struggling with since I was seventeen and so I decided to take this trip by myself and I didn't know much about palm springs since then it's become one of my favorite destinations and there was a tram but you can take up into the mountains so I did and I just started walking it was so quiet and so silent because you're up in you know the atmosphere essentially you're up so much higher than everything else you can go walkabout especially during the summer months when it's super hot in the desert but up on the mountain it's so much cooler and I felt connected to my grandmother's energy again and I started having these conversations inwardly and my mind asking questions and then hearing this deep Y. A.'s answer coming back to me so since then it's something that I've tried to do when I've taken my daughter to national parks when I've done my moving meditation driving by myself somewhere just took a walk about and this happened again when I was on the Big Island with my partner for my birthday so while I was there I just had this awareness %HESITATION what we really want to write what do I want to get back to writing was the one thing when I was in my teens that help me feel like I just lost sense of time and I knew I had found some sort of magic some sort of purpose and because I mix my profession with my personal passion it sometimes gets a little bit tricky but also as I've hired writers to add to my team you know the actual writing that I do is much less I'm focused much more on strategy and client relationships and growing my company and so being able to get back to something that I have loved that has essentially save my life so many times over being able to write and process being able to share stories and get published and then see that those personal essays and narratives have helped other people being able to take that pain that I've experienced and turn it into lessons that have helped other people he'll has always made me feel like I'm living what I was meant to do or at least bringing some sort of light into the world and so I wanted to figure out what that was and while I was walking up in this gorgeous valley on the Big Island %HESITATION it's called Palau look out I just became aware that one of the things that people have reached out to me and asked me about a lot is just my life through my divorce and then afterwards being a single parent half the time being able to go from basically you know less than five dollars in my bank account when we got back from living internationally to having to rebuild and now having a business that last time I checked is making six figure revenue in the middle of the year anticipated to match that and ideally you know exceed what we've cultivated thus far and that's been I've been back in the states now for about three years I'm a little over three years and so to be able to rebuild my life then and not to say there have not been missteps or hiccups I just sent an email today to my accountant to just kind of figure out like what are the fees from the investments that there were while the office is managing for me how can I do this better and really trying not to beat myself up but learning as I go you know having been involved in crypto there been some losses having %HESITATION just trusted different financial advisors who were as I started to learn more about it not the best and wisest choices so continuing to learn continuing to just do the best that I can in the moment and then trust myself and for those of you who maybe you were raised in an environment similar to mine then really trying not to be perfect for fear of the repercussions that will come if we weren't perfect and instead just being so much more compassionate to myself being human so after these remarkable birthday celebrations I hosted a small gathering in a pool with close friends and their kids and my partner turned and looked at me at one point he said look at how many people are here to celebrate you it's been a lifelong lesson to let that log in and one of the things that I had asked my friends to do is I created an email address for my birthday and I asked them to share memories or sentiments are things that maybe they've always wanted to tell me that you know they had yet had the chance so on that evening I open up the email and it was just remarkable to see what an impact I've made and to think that just me living my life has been an inspiration to someone else is so rewarding and very humbling and extremely gratifying to know that we're not alone that we're all on this journey and so as I try to figure out how I want to get back into writing and sharing one of the things that I think I'm coming to is being able to share how to rebuild your life after divorce after you know potentially heart aching heart breaking decisions after unhealthy paradigms and dynamics after figuring out what you want to do versus what you've been told you're supposed to do and then re defining what success means to you and figuring out your core values so I wanted to read something that I shared on linkedin recently and then we will dive into a mindfulness practice that's really about letting the love and it's something that I'm very much working on it's something that I'm you know that I brought up to my partner recently of do you think I'm gonna get to a point where I'm gonna be able to feel what it is that other people around me can see so clearly one of my dearest friends who's my daughter's godfather said to me during another birthday celebration in my twenties you know you can just see how much people love you and it's always stuck with me because I think for my fear of getting close from being in the environment that I was in growing up in sensing that perhaps I could depend on the people around me I've had to really work on that story because my lived experience into adulthood has been very different but that inner child within me still feels that and so I am still learning how to let all of them live in okay here's what I wrote last weekend I celebrated my forty fourth birthday I went from Mexico to Hawaii over the course of two weeks and back to San Diego to celebrate with the people closest to me in my life not only did we have the best meals we also swim with manta rays witnessed a live volcano erupting and watch the sunset from the tallest mountain in the world one of the greatest gifts I received was in a simple request I made I created a new email address and ask people to email memories of the first time we met sentiments they may never have shared words of wisdom or anything they wanted to say on the night of the sixteenth and they done a bad and open up this email address the messages almost brought me to tears people shared photos from years past moments I didn't know made an impact and so much love my entire life personally and professionally has been based on creating meaningful connections to make the world a better place my goal in every exchange I have is to create harmony to help others feel a sense of safety and confidence to encourage a sense of healing life can be hard I know and more than anything we're all seeking to be seen to be heard to be loved and accepted just as we are if you all haven't listened to the rich roll podcast he shared several episodes about becoming a modern elder and redefining what success and satisfaction mean the best feeling I touched upon throughout the celebrations was a sense of peace over striving and learning how to let all of this goodness and to believe that I am more than worthy of the affection and attention people bestow upon me I hope that you get a moment to let it all in to let in all the moments you're working so hard to create I hope you have a chance to breathe and be and know that you are in a so last night I also went and hung out with three of my favorite mama and today gave me hand written cards submitted an email the email address but they did share it and hand written words and what they shared was so deeply meaningful because these are women I admire and I'm so grateful that I'm in their presence and then I can call them part of my family and part of my tribe so for today anchorage you to find a space where you can settle in and maybe it'll be seated maybe it'll be lying down maybe it will be standing or perhaps your listen to this while walking if you're driving %HESITATION moving definitely take into consideration where you are and do what you can to give yourself just a few moments here now start to connect with your prior search to become aware of where you feel this in your body if you've been following me on social media and then you would know that I've been reading these books recently about what happens after we pass it's something that I've always been fascinated about if you listen to the podcast you might have heard how I tried to make the most of all the moments how much I think about death and the impact that we leave and I can't exactly remember where but I do recall over the last couple of months hearing how we're always so stressed about doing this or that about getting it all right about making a positive impact especially if we are a caretaker in any regard but that after we pass there are only about two generations where we may have left a lasting memorable legacy and it's a very humbling thing to think about but the person who is speaking asked what do you remember your great grandparents names are your great great grandparents and yes we make such a big profound impact on those closest to us and maybe their children or the next generation or if we do have a bigger sphere of influence maybe many generations more but there was another episode that I listen to talking about Steve Jobs and how even despite all of the life changing technologies he's created in a large expanse of universal time he is barely a blip barely a flak so sometimes it can be helpful to have that perspective to do the best that we can but just remember that we are here for this period of time to learn and grow in our wisdom N. F. journaling is part of our practice then perhaps in addition to adding that things that we are grateful for or the reflections that we have hired or the worries and anxieties we may have to take a moment every so often maybe every week to write on the life lessons the wisdom that we've acquired so that we can truly integrate them because that's what we're here for in the mistakes in the missteps in the striving in the reaching all of it is to expand the greater consciousness as a whole that the universe is learning through each of our learning expanding at that growing hatch so reconnecting to your brother finding your sense of self your sense of peace your connection to whatever it is that fuels greater and perhaps if you're like me and you have put up barricades around your heart to seemingly protect you from experiencing more pain or disappointment taking a moment to check in with yourself to see and ask am I safe now in this moment all of the growth all of the hearing all of the learning the pushing away from what we don't want moving in the direction of the things that we do in this moment right here right now do I feel safe taking a deep breath in opening up your Mustang it all out two more rooms in filling up and holding at the top noting that energy moved from the crown of your head the soles of your feet and when you're ready accelerating our growth one more time breathing deeply in feeling it from the finger tips to her %HESITATION feeling all of your songs all of your skin breathing in that new refreshed life force energy and this time as you exhale imagining that it's just exhaling through our pre core of your body for so many of us were learning how to have healthy boundaries to say now we mean now and to say yes when we enthusiastically and emphatically mean yes since taking a moment to check in finding that safety and being able to say %HESITATION yes and now when it's aligned to you your needs your desires taking one in those deep body wraps in all holding feeling yourself being replenished when you're ready letting it all so there is a line all around you right here right now whether it is seen or unseen there are forces working in your favor can you take a moment to let that in I feel what it feels like to trust just a little bit more you know what it feels like to surrender the burden of carrying all this responsibility on your own breathe deeply in T. three out so this last feeling within you and brought you to explore it a little bit more you know later on today or later on this week exploring what it feels like have a little bit more shade love it more trust to alleviate that burden and the responsibility of all that we Kerry to give ourselves that compassion to love ourselves the way that we love others and to let in that love just a little bit more when you're ready taking another deep breath in in a deep breath out you can close your eyes open coming back into the space back into the room back into your life thank you so much for joining me today as always if you have any thought please feel free to reach out to me you can find me hello Buck saving face dot com you can find me on social media you can connect with us at our agency while her did words dot com and just send a note we're always here we're always listening and I'm so grateful that you took a moment to yourself I hope that you let in a lot of today and all the days to come I can you can do so in crypto if you'd like to send your dollars A. K. fiat currency to me via the cash app which uses a super fast lightning network I can convert it into a big one you can find me on the cash app by typing in a dollar sign Judy it's way T. S. U. but if you actually like to send me a direct crypto currencies email me at hello at fox saving face dot com and we can exchange crypto wallet addresses more ways you can support the podcasts are sharing this with your friends family anybody you think Clinton join this and remember to go get your copy of the little book of Tibetan rites and rituals at Barnes and noble Amazon audible or whatever you like to get your books make your story beautiful today.