EPISODE 75: [MINDFULNESS] HOW TO FIND INNER PEACE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

Sep 24

Takeaways

This is the very last episode of the season (and the first one of the year!). I thought a mindfulness episode was the perfect way to close out one milestone and start another, especially since the motivation for change tends to run higher this time of year. While I’m not necessarily a fan of New Year’s resolutions since they tend to be unrealistic, I do believe this is a great opportunity to encourage you to set goals that empower you to show up in the ways you want to in the world.

Today’s meditation is dedicated to the ways you can achieve mental peace. There’s no denying that the process can often result in initial loneliness or resistance — or both. Today’s meditation will take you through the challenges you may face along the journey, help you pause, and to make your story beautiful.

We also explore:

Season 2 of F*ck Saving Face

Transcript

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

life, moving, feel, energy, breath, podcast, future, connect, wisdom, surrender, sense, saving, opportunity, compassion, word, share, mindfulness practice, hold, create, hope

SPEAKERS

Judy Tsuei

Judy Tsuei 00:06

Welcome to the f*ck saving face podcast. I'm your host, Judy tsuei. And together we'll explore mental and emotional health for Asian Americans and beyond all by breaking through taboo topics, like may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful. Let's make your story beautiful today. We made it to the last episode of season two, thank you so much for being a part of this journey. I'm grateful for your time and your energy and your sharing about this podcast.

Judy Tsuei 00:10

One of the other things that I've done over the last quarter has been to see a network chiropractor. It's been to sign up for a premium consciousness spirituality retreat with one of my clients. And it's affording me an opportunity to really calm my nervous system. I'm excited because in January, I'll do another assessment with my network chiropractor, and we'll kind of see how I've progressed over the last few months. I see her twice a week. So, you know, that's pretty frequent. And it's an investment of time and energy and money. And I feel that it's been very worth it for me.

Judy Tsuei 00:11

So yeah, today is the last episode of season two. And it will be a mindfulness practice, because we haven't had many of those this season. But it's also right around the holidays. And if the holidays are anything for you, like they are for me, then perhaps they can be a bit bittersweet. They might be a little bit challenging with different family dynamics, or, you know, I don't really like to use the word triggers, but different memories that may come up different healing opportunities. If you followed along this podcast, you may have heard me mentioned that I believe that life is an upward moving spiral.

Judy Tsuei 01:13

And so that we are continually evolving into a greater sense of wisdom and a mastery of self. But it also means that sometimes we circle back to similar experiences, or dynamics or, you know, opportunities for growth. And it's how we choose to respond in those moments that continue to move us forward in our lives in the directions that we would like for them to go. There's a lot that can be out of our control right now. And a lot that can be painful or hopeful at the same time. And how do you hold all of that together? The introduction of this podcast is to make your story beautiful, and that life may not always be pretty, but it is indeed beautiful.

Judy Tsuei 01:57

So if you've read some of my Instagram posts, especially the one that I wrote recently about what it's like to be a divorced, parent, and to share custody of your child, then you'll see how someone tries to hold all of that together into one experience of living and life. When I was learning yoga, and then becoming a teacher, one of the things that I discovered was the difference between a response and a reaction. Or reaction can be those knee jerk feelings that we have the things that are entrained in our brains and our psyches and our souls, probably not your soul, I think your soul is quite the resplendent shining, brilliant light, this pure source of energy.

Judy Tsuei 02:42

But you know, in our lived experiences, we may come up with patterns. And so that's usually the reaction. But the response is taking a beat, taking a breath, choosing how you want to show up in that moment, what you want to say, how you want to feel, how you want to engage, whether or not you should engage. And so even just that subtle shift can make such a big difference during this time. I'm excited for what's ahead in 2022.

Judy Tsuei 03:10

But I will tell you that there have been so many growing opportunities over this last quarter, especially that it's not always been easy. It's required a lot of vulnerability, a lot of humility, and then giving myself a lot of space and grace to say, okay, you know, what I normally used to think was I fucked up in some way. But that's not what I think anymore. So much. Instead, it's okay, I'm going to approach myself with compassion that this is a learning opportunity. And I'm not going to have all the answers and I'm not going to get it right all the time. And that goes from building a business to being a parent to being in a relationship to being human.

Judy Tsuei 03:51

During one of our recent sessions, you know, I came in very stressed about a client situation, and it was requiring me to learn how to set healthy boundaries to grow as a leader to realize what was mine to hold to handle to take responsibility of and what was not mine that I did not need to take responsibility of, in the sense that, you know, I didn't need to beat myself up over it because that part wasn't mine to own. And in it during that session that I had with a network chiropractor at the very end, she asked me to connect to my future self.

Judy Tsuei 05:11

She encouraged me to really get a sense of me, you know, moving past the situation, years from now, however far along that I wanted to envision that future self. And what would that future self tell me right here right now about what it is that I was going through? What nuggets of wisdom what I gleaned from this experience? What could I surrender and release? What could I, you know, reframe, or take a different perspective with at the end of it, it was such a wonderful self reflection and a connection to feeling this empowered sense of self, because it wasn't external, it was me, within me, giving myself what it is that I needed. And so for those of you who don't know, I do a gratitude practice every morning, a journaling practice, but mine is a little bit different in regards to the fact that I write down future things that I would love to have happen, experience all of that as though they've already happened.

Judy Tsuei 06:19

So my whole gratitude journal is thank you for this, thank you for that, even if it's not appearing in my life right now, it creates the sense of expansiveness that there is so much potential out there, and to live in that energy of syncing up with the greatness that I want to connect to. So all of these things are simply offerings to see if they speak to you. And maybe you have other techniques that I would love to learn about. So you can come over and connect with us on Instagram effect saving face, or you can join our private Facebook group flux saving face. And I would love to know, because I'm always seeking, you know, different modalities to learn and grow. And I hope that today's mindfulness practice offers you a sense of

Judy Tsuei 07:10

how truly amazing you are, how much light you hold, how there are so many things that we are fearful of, or we worry about, or we have anxiety about. But that as we live our lives, the answer appears, we live our way into the answer. I don't know if you've ever created a, it could be called a god box, a wish box, a wisdom box, a light box, but taking all of the worries that you have writing them down, putting it in that box, and then forgetting about it, surrendering it for me, I have an email address to my higher power.

Judy Tsuei 07:45

And a long time ago, when I was living in South Carolina, I was really starting to hit the bottom of my eating disorder. A friend of mine, who was older than me, said to me, even if you feel lonely, you're never actually alone. And I've held that in my heart. So, so many times, so if that's something that you needed to hear today, I hope that's helpful to you.

Judy Tsuei 07:45

Now, without further ado, let's get into this mindfulness practice. And at the end of today's episode, I will also close with what we can look forward to in season three of the podcast, and what else ahead, which I hope is as full of just the beauty that life has to offer for you, every single one of you as much as for me, okay, so wherever you are, find a comfortable place to be still, if you're driving, if you have little ones running around, if you're moving outside, moving your body, getting some sunshine, then see if you can connect to that sense of presence. And one of the easiest ways to do that is to connect to your breath. start to notice your breath

Judy Tsuei 07:45

So you know, because I'm very connected to my phone every now and again, if I have a big worry, I'll send that to my email address for my higher power. And then I just surrender and let it go. And if you've ever written them down, and then let's say, you know, three months from now, six months from now, a year from now or even a week from now, and you go back and you look at the things that you were worried about, you would see how many of those things resolved themselves, or that you just moved on to something else.

Judy Tsuei 08:10

And I think that that's such a great reminder to know that you have the resilience, you have the ability to move through the hardest of times, or to hold faith. Someone recently shared with me this quote about how people who've been wounded who've been through trauma who've been hurt and still open up their hearts to love and connection and life are just the bravest people and I loved that quote so much because it's very much how I feel about my own life. The other quote that I've loved, and I've quoted this on the podcast before is by Rainer Maria Rilke, you, I beg you to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart, and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms, or books written in a very foreign language.

Judy Tsuei 09:01

Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now because you will not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything, live the questions now. Perhaps then someday far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it. Live your way into the answer. Even as I read it right now, I was getting chills throughout my body. So you know, this is such a beautiful reminder that we don't have to have all the answers now. And I tend to be one of those people who's impatient. I'm a generator by human design.

Judy Tsuei 09:34

So I am go go go, I can produce immensely, very quickly. And so it's very, you know, this mindfulness podcast that I'm recording now is as much for you as it is for me. I had one of my team members recently say you should go back and listen to your last episode and hear what you've said to everyone and what you've shared because those Words of wisdom are something that you know you've lived. And it was a good reminder to be like, oh, yeah, that's right. You know, I've done this too. And so you're not alone in what it is that you're going through.

11:31

in your body.

Judy Tsuei 11:36

Notice how it feels to be in your space now. And notice how it feels to be in your own physical space, inwardly, as much as the environment around you. Mindfulness is an opportunity to become more aware and reflective without judgment. And I know for many of us, myself included, I tend to be the hardest person on myself. So can you invite a sense of compassion

12:08

and grace, low levity.

12:18

You can to deepen your breath.

Judy Tsuei 12:21

Imagining that you're breathing from the top of your head, the crown of your head, and I hope that you feel that you are wearing a crown that you are Regal, and you are worthy. And you're breathing from the crown of your head. Slowly, slowly, slowly pulling that life force energy through your body all the way down to the

Judy Tsuei 12:44

soles of your feet. And as you exhale,

Judy Tsuei 12:51

moving that breath out of your body, and you can either imagine that it's reversing all the way back up. Or you can imagine if you need to let things go. If it's been a stressful time, then just use your exhales to clear out that energy to return anybody else's stuff that you've picked

13:08

up. To create more

Judy Tsuei 13:11

space, openness, receiving, and surrender. Moving through your own cycles of breath at your own pace. And remembering that the more that you bring your attention to your breath, the more that you arrive in the present moment.

13:36

Continue to move your breath in and out. When you feel that you've

Judy Tsuei 13:46

reached a new sense of grounding, I invite you to connect to your future self. So just imagine yourself at some point in the future, it could be five years from now 10 years from now. It could be a month from now, or even a day. Whatever feels right for you. Start to sense who you are in that future. What does your energy feel like? You could if you'd like imagine the environment around you. Imagine what your life looks like who's in it? Where you are in your profession, or in your personal life. Or you could simply connect to the energy of the life that you've lived. The space between here and there.

Judy Tsuei 14:52

The wisdom

14:55

the peace calm now if you

Judy Tsuei 15:08

had something that's been weighing on your heart, weighing on your mind take a moment

15:18

and bring that to your awareness and share it with your future self. So what would

Judy Tsuei 15:32

this future version of you tell yourself about the situation now about the feelings that you're having now about the energy that you're holding around it

15:51

remembering that you are living

Judy Tsuei 15:55

all of these moments to become that person. You made it through here and over there, every single one of the most difficult experiences of your life. So what does your future self want to let you know about this here now?

Judy Tsuei 16:33

And remembering that we are approaching this without judgment, so it may surprise you the information that you're receiving. Or it may land with you in a way that feels absolutely like truth,

16:51

like a knowingness. I encourage you to feel open to ask

Judy Tsuei 17:05

to be unrestrained

Judy Tsuei 17:08

to allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Judy Tsuei 17:14

And I encourage you to move past

Judy Tsuei 17:15

what you think that you know all the stories that you've told yourself up until this point to see what saw wisdom your future self would like to offer you.

Judy Tsuei 17:44

So just take a few more cycles of breath here

Judy Tsuei 17:53

observing if there are any sensations

Judy Tsuei 18:00

observing if there's any sense of resistance and again, without judgment, just noticing,

18:08

witnessing. So as we

Judy Tsuei 18:17

close today's practice, I invite you to thank your future self.

Judy Tsuei 18:23

You have done a lot of work to arrive there. You've done a lot of work to arrive here.

Judy Tsuei 18:33

So if it feels comfortable putting your hands on your heart are placing your hands wherever you feel that you need that comfort, grounding, self assurance and know that you can connect to your future self at any point. So if this practice was helpful to you,

18:58

you are you

Judy Tsuei 19:05

and you always have access to your soul's wisdom to your heart center to love

Judy Tsuei 19:18

if there's anything else that you'd like to communicate to your future self please do so now.

19:34

And when you're complete,

Judy Tsuei 19:36

gently floating your eyes open if they were closed, coming back into this moment back into this awareness

19:47

and just notice how you feel

Judy Tsuei 19:48

in your space now. Your physical space your environment the same way that we checked in earlier I am so grateful that you took time out of your day to join me today. I appreciate all of the support and your energy, being here creating this collective shift in consciousness, and helping to heal ourselves so that we can truly heal the world. Because as I've mentioned many times before, I believe that hurt people hurt people. And one way we can truly help change the dynamic of everything is to help heal ourselves. I wish for you wonderful things in 2022.

Judy Tsuei 20:33

And I hope that you will stay in touch with us, you can follow us on wild hearted words, we will still be posting at f*ck saving face, we will be taking a hiatus so that we can plan and connect to more guests to you know what type of topics that are relevant now to truly serve you and the greater good. And so if you have any thoughts, we welcome them, you can email us at Hello@F*ck saving face.com However you show up in the world, I truly honor and respect your journey. And I hope that you'll give yourself loads of compassion. It's been a hard couple of years. And for some of us perhaps even longer than that.

Judy Tsuei 21:17

We, you know, are living our way into what 2022 will hold. And so I'm very grateful for you joining me and my team and just everything that we're about here. Now, I hope that you take just such good care of yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, I hope that you feel connected and that you just have a sense of love for yourself for those around you and that you allow yourself to receive that love in return. It's something that I'm focused on working on in 2022. I know I have an incredible community and I have so many people who love me and appreciate me.

Judy Tsuei 21:55

And yet, I'm still working on allowing all of that in more deeply and feeling all of the things that I've ever wanted in my life knowing that they're already right here right now. And then I have personal work to do to you know, rewire my brain to heal through some other elements of I don't want to use the word trauma again, but experiences in this upward moving spiral. So I wish for you as my partner said to me, as I've shared with him, just that your life continues to move in an upward moving spiral. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening to today's episode.

Judy Tsuei 22:34

You can follow me on Instagram at F*ck saving face or have an honest conversation with me in my private Facebook group f*ck saving face. That's f*ck without the U. if you enjoy this work, please help support and sustain it. The best ways to do that are to share it with your friends and networks. Subscribe rate and review on your listening platforms and of course through your thoughtful financial donations. You can buy me a coffee or treatment or lunch or share even bigger lab at f*ck saving face.com Again, that's f*ck without the U.